In this post we are going to look at Tom Corley’s fifth habit – ‘I will seek to build strong relationships with other success-minded people’, but before we do that let me remind you of my previous posts about his book.
Do you remember Tom Corley’s ‘Rich Habits’? I introduced you to him back in March. He did a study looking at the differences between rich and poor people and has summarised his findings in his book ‘Rich Habits Poor Habits’.
So far we have looked at the following habits:
Number Ten – being master of your emotions. I advised that in order to do this you may want to try meditation, which I have found to be helpful in enabling me to remain calm and take the problems that life throws at me in my stride.
Number Four– exercising and eating healthily – if you are a regular reader of ‘A Simple Life’ you will know that this is one of the things that I try to promote. Tom Corley found that this is also a priority for the rich people in his study.
Number One – how to assess your habits and turn poor habits into rich habits. Before you make any changes you need to spend time assessing your habits and then think how you can change your bad habits into good habits.
Number Two – defining dreams and creating goals around those dreams – this is basic goal setting. Taking a long term goal and breaking it down into daily habits in order to achieve that goal.
Number Three – investing in yourself– increasing your skills and knowledge – this is what you are doing now by reading this blog, as well as other activities such as reading and listening to podcasts.
choosing who to spend time with
Tom Corley believes that rich relationships help lift you up in life, whereas toxic relationships drag you down. Unfortunately, we seek out others who share our habits. Therefore a quick way to try to change our habits is to spend time with those who already have the good habits which we’d like to adopt. By spending time with that group of people they will influence and support you to adopt better habits through the process of peer pressure.
Networking can help you on the road to success, but you have to put in the time and work. You have to be prepared to do things for others even when there is nothing in it for you. You have to make the effort to remember people’s names, learn what is important to them and nurture your relationships. Tom Corley suggests doing this in a very structured and planned way by keeping notes on each of your contacts and reviewing them before you meet up. In some ways this feels quite calculated, but he says that unless you have a very good memory you are not going to remember all of the important things about someone.
finding like-minded people
Reading this I was reminded of the advice of Stephen Covey in his ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’. He talks about the emotional bank account. Like a financial bank account we make deposits into a relationship and build up a reserve from which we can make withdrawals when we need to. How do you make deposits in your emotional bank account? By being courteous, kind, honest and keeping commitments that you make to people.
This all sounds like good ideas to me, but I am not sure where to find all of these like-minded individuals. The only place that I am truly successful with this is in the blogging world, which is not quite the same as having friends who you can meet up with for lunch. I would therefore welcome any suggestions that you have. Are there people in your circle of friends whose habits you aspire to adopt? How would you go about building your relationship with them? I would love to hear your ideas.