As you know I’ve been working my way through Tom Corley’s book Rich Habits Poor Habits. His eighth habit focuses on positive thinking, or as he calls it, rich thinking, which he suggests you should engage in every day.
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In order to cultivate positive thinking he says that successful people use the tool of gratitude. He believes that gratitude is the gateway to optimism and a positive mental outlook. You can simply think about the things in life which many of us take for granted and yet lots of people in the world don’t have e.g. I have a home, I can put food on the table. By recognising the things in your life that you are grateful for this shifts your outlook on life from negative to positive.
Looking on the bright side
For me, positive thinking is about changing your view from a ‘glass half empty’ one to a ‘glass half full’ one. You always need to try to look at the positives in a situation. One thing that I didn’t share with you about my recently holiday in Italy was that my mum fell over a couple of days before we were due to leave. Unfortunately she had a lot of bruising to her face and we ended up having to use the Italian health service (which was excellent I have to say). This was obviously all extremely upsetting and we ended up missing the trip on the last day.
Understandably Mum didn’t want to go down to the restaurant to have our meals and so instead we ended up taking them on the balcony of our hotel room. Up until that point we had had to share a table each evening with a couple who would not have been our first choice to spend our holiday with. The events which happened meant that we no longer had to do so and we enjoyed an evening meal, a picnic lunch and our last breakfast in Italy, on the balcony. Now, I’m not saying that what happened to my mum was a good thing, but I have to say that I really enjoyed those meals sitting and chatting together looking out at the glorious view. Part of the reason for going away on holiday together each year is that it is a chance to catch up as we don’t see each other very often. This enabled us to do just that. A very difficult situation had a positive spin off.
As well as gratitude another tool recommended by Tom Corley to alter your mindset is positive affirmations. These represent the picture of the individual you hope to be. For example, I am confident, I live my life in moderation, I am successful, I accomplish my goals.
He recommends making a list of positive affirmations and keeping them with you. These should be reviewed once in the morning, once in the afternoon and right before you go to sleep. Eventually they will take root. Events and circumstances will begin to manifest themselves round your positive thinking and opportunities will appear seemingly out of thin air.
One of my favourite life coaching podcasters, Natalie Bacon, also talks about affirmations. She believes that the trick with them is to make sure you believe them. Ones she uses are, ‘bad things are supposed to happen’, ‘nothing has gone wrong’. For me her ones are more like things that you would say to yourself in difficult situations rather than morning, midday and evening.
For example, a couple of weeks ago someone crashed into my car. Fortunately the accident wasn’t too bad, but I had to drive a hire car for a couple of weeks whilst mine was repaired. I am not a confident driver and having a large, fairly new and technologically advanced car to drive freaked me out a little. The handbrake was a button rather than a lever and I was so nervous about doing hill starts. I was also worried about having to park it in a multi-storey car park. Despite my fears I did manage to drive it without incident for the time that I had it, but for the first couple of days I would talk to myself, telling myself that I just needed to remain calm, that I can do this, that I am a competent driver. It’s the things that your best friend might say to you in the same situation.
Returning to the idea of positive affirmations to read each day, I’ve tried to think about what mine should be. It’s something that I’ve not tried before. I remember being at a training event at work last year and one of my colleagues said that she does this every morning. One that came to mind initially was, ‘I enjoy my work’. On the whole this is true, but sometimes I feel that I lose my way and see it as a chore. Reminding myself that I have a career that I chose and that has the potential to make me happy, even if the day has been tough, is no bad thing. This is definitely an area that I need to work on and I may just make it one of my October intentions to come up with some daily positive affirmations to consider.
So, do you have any suggestions for cultivating a more positive outlook in life? What tools do you use to help you manage stressful situations? Please let me know in the comments below and don’t forget to check out Tom Corley’s book.